Over the past several days and likely for several weeks to come, the mass media, social media, and the United States government, will be spending countless hours and dollars discussing the whys and whats of this tragedy and ultimately how to prevent similar atrocities in the future.  My guess is that it’s going to go something like this:

• Ban Guns! – Impossible and impractical. America is never going to touch the Bill of Rights…period.

• Arm guards in schools – If we were to put one officer in each of our approximately 100,000 public schools at a $50,000 yearly salary, it would cost our country $5 billion per year and just give the psychotic shooter a primary target.  That doesn’t even count expenses.

• Arm teachers – We could train 3 random faculty members in every school and arm them at all times. I think that teachers have enough stress to deal with and giving them a gun might make them want to use it more than they should.

• Blame the media! – Movies, TV, and video games both desensitize the minds of children and young adults, blur the separation between reality and fantasy, and undermine the consequences of real-world actions.  I’m all about free speech, but one can’t deny that overexposure can definitely lead to brainwashing.  Furthermore, of the top 10 video games of 2012, five are considered “first-person shooters,” where the player can embody a nearly invulnerable character, locked and loaded with realistic weaponry, and free to interact with humanistic characters with virtually no consequences for going on a murderous rampage.

We’re going to put on our “Mr. Fix-It Hat,” as per usual, and go after the symptoms instead of the problems.

We can blame guns, video games, TV, and movies…broken homes, bad parents, teachers, and bullies.  The truth probably lies in a combination of the mass.  One major point that I think we are missing, and the reason that this post belongs on a food blog, is that food changes behavior both directly and indirectly.  Food could be the primary contributor to violent tendencies.

On November 27, 1978, Dan White walked into City Hall and assassinated San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and supervisor, Harvey Milk.  Though these murders were clearly premeditated, White’s tipping point occurred when his nutritional imbalance failed him and he slipped into depression.  Due to the malnutrition catalyst, commonly known as the “Twinkie Defense,” White’s murder charges were reduced to manslaughter.  Fair or not, food clearly affects how we think, feel, and act.  Apparently, THE LAW believes that nutrition is partially to blame.

In 2002, Oxford University conducted a pilot where prison inmates were given either a vitamin supplement or a placebo.  The objective was to determine if nutrient ingestion has a significant impact on violent tendencies.  Inmates who were supplemented showed about a 34% decrease in violent incidents when compared to the same prison’s control group.

Nutrients, specifically Omega 3s (essential building blocks for brain neurons), have been proven to increase overall health and mental stability.  In contrast, Omega 6s, commonly found in refined oils, snacks, and fast foods, have shown to decrease cognitive functions, undermine self-control, shorten attention span, and increase irritability.  Apparently, SCIENCE believes that nurition is partially to blame.

Let’s assume you don’t buy into law or science.  Let’s assume they are “made up” concepts that are corrupted by money and politics, offering little significance to the everyday.  Let’s also assume that the chemical composition of food does not directly affect self-control, mood, and depression.  The indirect effects of food still drive human behavior.  It’s not just what you eat, it’s how you eat.

Sharing in the procurement and consumption of meals has bound numerous civilizations together since the dawn of time.  The paleolithic people scavenged and gathered together.  The Native Americans moved and hunted together.  The settlers farmed together.  Mealtime was the one hour per day when the family was truly together to share in the fruits of their labor.  This is when they learned the most from and about each other.

The modern-day diet plan offers little to no time for family or community.  Why would a young adult want to have a sit-down meal with the family when there are violent movies and TV shows to watch and a worldwide network of other gamers to kill over and over again?  Meals are eaten in cars and bedrooms and out of bags and boxes.  Food is not hunted or gathered.  Farmers, butchers, bakers, and winemakers are rarely seen and frequently exist only as caricatures on store shelves and fast food boxes.  Food used to bring people together to not only eat but to form a sense of community, a gathering of compassion and respect for others.  This lack of love and togetherness over time can make one depressed, feel like an outcast, and more likely to act out in extremely violent ways.

Mainstream food is no longer social or communal.  It is not crafted or shared.  It lacks story, togetherness, love, and memory.  It is simply a means of sustenance that will allow us to live another few more hours, growing increasingly empty, tired, depressed, and ultimately irritable, angry, and unpredictable.  Whether you eat it or not, bad food is deadly.

photo credit: Scott Ableman via photopin
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Think about that for a while.  I can’t think of any other animal whose “juice” is bottled and sold at just about every supermarket.  Other shelled water creatures do not have their own juices sold like this.  I’m not even sure if they have juice.  Cows have juice, but I don’t think that applies.  Some people put clam juice in their Bloody Marys.  I put vodka in mine.  Some people buy Clamato juice.  Those people are sick bastards.

Ok, sure, there are those even weirder weirdos that drink frog juice, snake blood, and deer penis wine.  But, they don’t count.  People put some strange things in their mouths to cure diseases, ward off evil spirits, and just plain have a good time.  To each their own.  I’ll stick to the clam juice.

But, of course, I don’t buy that bottled store-shelf stuff that boasts and expiration date spanning into the next decade.  I use fresh live clams and just dress them up a bit.  The result is a succulent broth that is rich, salty, and buttery.  Once the clams open and donate their juices to the cause, you will have a warm golden bath that you will want to baptize your baby in.  A large baguette is a requirement so that not a drop of the savory broth is squandered.
 

Steamers in Broth

• 2 dozen little neck or cherry stone clams in the shell (cleaned)
• 1/4 cup sweet butter
• 2 small sweet onions
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 red or orange bell pepper
• 1 cup sauvignon blanc
• 1 cup lobster or shellfish stock
• salt and pepper
• fresh flat leaf parsley (optional garnish)

In a large, deep dutch oven, meld the butter on medium heat.  Saute the garlic and onion until tender.  Add the wine, stock, peppers, and season well.  Cook down for 10 minutes to allow the flavors to melt.  Add the clams and cover for three minutes.  If all of the shells open, you are done.  If not, stir and cover for another 30 seconds to a minute.  Clams do not get as tough as mussels, but I would still try to not cook them too long.  Discard the clams that just refuse to open.  They are no good.  Baste the remaining clams with the broth so that they absorb the flavor.  Plate in a shallow pool of broth.  Garnish with flat leaf parsley and serve with a fresh crispy baguette.
 

NUTRITION INFORMATION:

SERVINGS: 2

Food energy: 607kcal
Saturated fatty acids: 15.33g
Monounsaturated fatty acids: 6.54g
Polyunsaturated fatty acids: 1.55g
Total fat: 23.42g
Calories from fat: 210
Cholesterol: 130mg
Carbohydrate, by difference: 31.94g
Total dietary fiber: 4.41g
Protein: 39.14g
Total lipid (fat): 26.55g
Water: 614.27g
Ash: 6.22g
Total sugars: 9.99g
Calcium: 150mg
Iron: 4.45mg
Magnesium: 77mg
Phosphorus: 594mg
Potassium: 692mg
Sodium: 1558mg
Zinc: 1.78mg
Copper: 0.29mg
Manganese: 0.64mg
Selenium: 72.64μg
Vitamin C: 108.96mg
Thiamin: 0.20mg
Riboflavin: 0.30mg
Niacin: 3.15mg
Pantothenic acid: 1.22mg
Vitamin B6: 0.55mg
Folate, total: 77μg
Folic acid: –
Food folate: 77μg
Folate: 77μg dietary folate equivalents
Vitamin B12: 26.46μg
Vitamin A: 3732IU
Vitamin A RAE: 516μg retinol activity equivalents
Retinol: 396μg
Vitamin E (alpha-tocopherol): 3.61mg
Vitamin K (phylloquinone): 6.83μg
Alpha-carotene: 14μg
Beta-carotene: 1g
Beta-cryptoxanthin: 365μg
Lycopene: –
Lutein+zeazanthin: 44μg
Percent refuse: –

Caprese salad is a great way to dress up your picnic or barbecue and a healthy replacement for pasta salad.  But, with their powers combined and the assistance of another local goodie, the eggplant, the dish is transformed from a simple app to an entrée and from a subtle side salad to a complex and balanced  showcase of local produce.  Smoky grilled eggplant, creamy mozzarella, and a tangy balsamic reduction come together to embellish a summer staple.
 

Grilled Eggplant Caprese Pasta Salad

• 1 pound whole wheat rotini pasta, cooked in seasoned water
• 2 eggplants, skin on, sliced lengthwise, discard the first and last slices of each eggplant
• 2-3 heirloom tomatoes, cut into very small wedges
• 1/2 cup fresh basil, cut chiffonade
• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1/2 pound fresh mozzarella, sliced
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• salt and pepper

In a small shallow saucepan on medium-high heat, add the balsamic vinegar and sugar.  Reduce by half.  While the sauce is reducing, fire up the grill and preheat to about 400°.  Toss the eggplant slices with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.  Grill on each side until tender, about 2-3 minutes per side.  Remove from the grill, slice into strips, and toss with all remaining ingredients in a serving bowl. Garnish with a bud of fresh basil and serve slightly chilled or at room temp.

Garnish with a bud of fresh basil.
 

NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION:

SERVINGS: 6

Food energy: 306kcal
Saturated fatty acids: 5.69g
Monounsaturated fatty acids: 5.85g
Polyunsaturated fatty acids: 1.00g
Total fat: 12.54g
Calories from fat: 112
Cholesterol: 29mg
Carbohydrate, by difference: 34.62g
Total dietary fiber: 4.82g
Protein: 13.61g
Total lipid (fat): 13.53g
Water: 192.82g
Ash: 2.53g
Total sugars: 11.38g
Calcium: 221mg
Iron: 1.84mg
Magnesium: 44mg
Phosphorus: 233mg
Potassium: 306mg
Sodium: 331mg
Zinc: 1.90mg
Copper: 0.22mg
Manganese: 1.23mg
Selenium: 26.47μg
Vitamin C: 19.03mg
Thiamin: 0.15mg
Riboflavin: 0.17mg
Niacin: 1.22mg
Pantothenic acid: 0.50mg
Vitamin B6: 0.17mg
Folate, total: 22μg
Folic acid: –
Food folate: 22μg
Folate: 22μg dietary folate equivalents
Vitamin B12: 0.86μg
Vitamin A: 766IU
Vitamin A RAE: 92μg retinol activity equivalents
Retinol: 65μg
Vitamin E (alpha-tocopherol): 1.54mg
Vitamin K (phylloquinone): 15.60μg
Alpha-carotene: –
Beta-carotene: 327μg
Beta-cryptoxanthin: –
Lycopene: 2g
Lutein+zeazanthin: 249μg
Percent refuse: –
 

Halibut cheeks are the best of both worlds.  They have the deep flavor from the head and also the texture of the fillet.  They are rare to find so make sure that you get them if they are available and in season.  Halibut cheeks look and feel like scallops.  They also cook up like scallops.  Season with salt and pepper and sear in melted butter, short and sweet.  There is no reason to complicate the flavors.  They are just fine as they are.

This dish brings together this wonderful sweetness and firm texture with the earthy flavors of delicate oyster mushrooms, the creamy softness yet sharp flavor of gingered turnip mash, and the bitter snap of Asian greens.  Oyster mushrooms are called as such because of their shape, however, these oyster mushrooms are heightened with oyster sauce.  I’m not sure why I put these together other than by name alone.  They really have nothing in common at first glance.  The oyster sauce made the mushrooms taste even more, well mushroomy, and the soy sauce gave it the perfect salty kick to pull all of the other ingredients together.  This is a really good pairing that I will definitely use again in other dishes.

If you can’t tell, I was really impressed with how this turned out.  The textures and colors contrasted well, the ingredients were all in season, and, aside from the cheeks themselves, the vast majority of the ingredients were locally grown and bought first-hand from local farmers.  You can’t go wrong when all the stars align like that.  Get down.
 

Halibut Cheeks with Oyster Mushrooms and Asian Greens

• 4 halibut cheeks
• 1/4 cup sweet butter
• salt and pepper
• 1 bunch of Asian greens –  mix of Mizuna, Komatsuna, and Tatsoi leaves
• 1/2 pound oyster mushrooms, separated
• 2 tablespoons oyster sauce
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 6 spring onions, halved lengthwise

Gingered Turnip Mash

• 8 to 10 salad turnips, sliced
• 2 tablespoons sweet butter
• 2 garlic scapes (or cloves), minced
• 2 teaspoons ginger, minced
• 2 tablespoons fresh flat leaf parsley
• salt and pepper

One of the fun challenges of a CSA is to utilize local ingredients in a new way.  This dish fuses the ultra-local with the ultra-distant.  Thai Larb, also known as Laab, is garnished with Collard Rabe, also known as Raab.  Laab-Raab.  Get it?  Sheesh.  Just shut up and eat your chicken salad.

On a lighter side note, the first time that I ate larb was at Banana Blossom in Cleveland’s Ohio City.  My wife was too indecisive on her takeout order, so I said “if you don’t make up your mind, I’m going to make you eat larb.”  It’s almost like it’s a punishment.  To finish off the joke, I actually ordered it.  I was totally impressed at the flavor that a salad could bring to the table.  Larb is now a standing order for us.
 

Larb Gai (Thai Chicken Salad)

• 1 pound of ground chicken, white and dark meat, finely chopped or raw ground chicken
• 1/2 cup turkey or chicken stock
• 1 stalk lemongrass
• 3 limes
• 1 tablespoon fish sauce (Golden Boy is my fav)
• 1/4 cup sticky rice (used for sushi), ground
• 1 tablespoon minced ginger
• 1 pound fresh spring greens
• 1 bunch fresh mint, chopped (you can’t use too much)
• 1 bunch fresh cilantro, chopped (you can’t use too much)
• 1 English cucumber, finely sliced
• 1/4 cup collard or kale rabe, chopped
• 1/2 red onion, sliced
• thai chili peppers (optional for heat)

In a large pan, add chicken and stock.  If you are using ground raw chicken, allow chicken to cook through.  Add lemongrass, fish sauce, ginger, and juice from one lime.  In a small pan, toast the ground and uncooked sticky rice until lightly browned.  Mix it with the chicken and toss until all liquid is absorbed.

In a large salad bowl, start with a bed of fresh spring greens.  Mix in mint, cilantro, cucumber, rabe, and onion.  Toss in rice and chicken mixture and garnish with juice of two fresh limes and sliced thai chili peppers.

NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION

SERVINGS:  6

Food energy: 212kcal
Saturated fatty acids: 1.90g
Monounsaturated fatty acids: 2.89g
Polyunsaturated fatty acids: 1.39g
Total fat: 6.18g
Calories from fat: 55
Cholesterol: 65mg
Carbohydrate, by difference: 25.23g
Total dietary fiber: 3.77g
Protein: 17.21g
Total lipid (fat): 6.86g
Water: 327.28g
Ash: 3.25g
Total sugars: 4.79g
Calcium: 110mg
Iron: 4.81mg
Magnesium: 64mg
Phosphorus: 215mg
Potassium: 923mg
Sodium: 345mg
Zinc: 1.84mg
Copper: 0.23mg
Manganese: 0.69mg
Selenium: 10.52μg
Vitamin C: 52.65mg
Thiamin: 0.26mg
Riboflavin: 0.35mg
Niacin: 5.76mg
Pantothenic acid: 1.34mg
Vitamin B6: 0.63mg
Folate, total: 97μg
Folic acid: 18μg
Food folate: 79μg
Folate: 104μg dietary folate equivalents
Vitamin B12: 0.44μg
Vitamin A: 7300IU
Vitamin A RAE: 363μg retinol activity equivalents
Retinol: –
Vitamin E (alpha-tocopherol): 0.76mg
Vitamin K (phylloquinone): 134.99μg
Alpha-carotene: 3μg
Beta-carotene: 3g
Beta-cryptoxanthin: 12μg
Lycopene: –
Lutein+zeazanthin: 2g
Percent refuse: –

Nowadays, food is so cheap, convenient, and plentiful, it seems that there will always be another food source on the way.  Hunting and gathering is just a quick walk to the nearest convenience store or supermarket.  Farming is something that happens elsewhere and food stamps, when used responsibly, ensure that no one really starves.  This makes waste not just an activity for the rich and frivolous.  Think you need a lot of money to have enough to eat?  Not here.  In fact, with no money, you can actually still have too much to eat.

Another irony is that income is inversely proportional to obesity.  The less you make, the fatter you typically are.  You eat a higher quantity of low nutrition foods to obtain the nutrition that you need.  It would be nice if food stamps would only work for whole foods and not for Little Debbie and KFC.  Either way, even for the poor, food is typically not in low supply overall.  Don’t get me wrong.  There are hungry people in America, but when you compare to almost every other country, it is not even in the same ballpark.  Our malnourished children are more likely products of lacking parents, or parents that choose convenience over nutrition, not products of a lack of food.  The point is that food waste is a national epidemic and it is class agnostic.

Supermarkets use high-volume sales to cut their markup and pass the savings (waste) on to you.  The supermarket will not turn much of a profit for selling a dozen eggs for only one dollar.  But, if they were to sell five dozen eggs for five dollars, they would be able to move more product per customer, creating the illusion of savings.  The customer will then be overrun with an excess of perishables.  Unless you have someone like me helping you out, your eggs would probably overstay their lease in the fridge and end up in your trash.  (compost your shells!)

All in all, we waste enough food every day to fill up a football stadium.  Each American wastes about 1/2 pound of food per day.  Nationally, we waste almost 50% of all food produced.  Commercial establishments like restaurants, school cafeterias, and factory and corporate lunchrooms are the biggest violators.  In places like these, almost ALL leftover food is thrown away daily.  Though this food is more than enough to fill the void of empty tummies, donations are not lucrative and risk lawsuits from poor food handling.

Well that was a lot of preamble.

Now that you see how much food is wasted by consumers, restauranteurs, and cafeterias, on the contrary, it is truly baffling how little food manufacturers waste.  Every part of the animal, fruit, and nut is used for one reason or another.  Science is even finding more ways to stretch inventories, cut costs, and disguise food waste as premium product.

 by  SurvivalWoman 

One example is what the media has coined “pink slime.” Pink slime is a purée of meat scraps, including, but not limited to, tendons, ligaments, fats, and cartilage.  These lovely meat by-products are separated from their respective bones using heat and centrifugal force.  As the beef part heats and spins, a luscious pink gelatin is flung to the sides of the centrifuge and allowed to drip down into a receptacle.  The paste is then treated with ammonia or a strong acid to kill bacteria and flash frozen into a brick.  Once the pink brick gets to the grocery store, the butcher can “cut” the stores ground meat with the “pink slime” filler.  

Wait, this technique sounds familiar.  Restaurants that use tallow, or rendered beef fat for frying, like McDonald’s, will sometimes sell their used grease to inferior dog food manufacturers.  Tallow has been classified as inedible to humans, however dogs are fair game.  Value brand dog foods can “cut” their all beef chunks with their own form of “pink slime,” hidden in cancer-causing beef tallow.  Is anyone else shocked how our people food manufacturers are stealing tricks from Gravy Train?

Now that I’ve effectively ruined your appetite and the perception of the great American burger, I’m going to take a shot at your filet mignon.

Meat glue, or transglutaminase, is a naturally occurring protein that companies are now using to mend cheap pieces of meat together to make them resemble pricier cuts.  Naturally-occurring does not mean good for you.  MSG is naturally occurring…so is cyanide.  The FDA has stated that meat glue is perfectly safe and I don’t denounce that on the surface.  Except, of course, that expensive cuts of steak are not (and should not) be cooked through.  Cooking the perimeter of a filet, for instance, is enough to kill any bacteria while also keeping the inside of the steak med rare and juicy.  The problem with gluing several cheap cuts into a hockey puck is that all of those cheap cuts will need to have their perimeters cooked to ensure that the steak is free from bacteria and safe to eat.  Therefore, you would have to cook a glued filet to well done, essentially defeating the purpose of having a filet to begin with.

This video really explains what this stuff is capable of.

That brings us to frankenchicken.  A couple of sick, sick bastards thought it would be a benefit to society to reassemble the dislocated pieces of a bucket of KFC back into their respective wholes.  With only their greasy nubs for defense, these poor birds were then pitted against each other in a battle royale.  I’m willing to bet that no two parts in a bucket of chicken were from the same bird…and that just gives me the creeps.

The funny thing is that most people look at mayonnaise as a miracle.  The white miracle whip has no discernible ingredients.  It’s just a thick, white, gloopy mass of deliciousness.  Think you know?  Stop reading right now and see if you can guess the three primary ingredients in mayonnaise.

Ready….Go!

If I asked people on the street what they thought was in mayo, I would bet that most people would guess milk or cream which would explain its white color and need to stay in the refrigerator.  Neither are correct.  Mayo has only three ingredients: egg yolks, oil, and an acid like vinegar or lemon juice.  That’s it.

Why is it white, then?  Well, the truth is that mayo is never white.  It’s a dull yellow color and the lack of yolks yields a whiter, and therefore cheaper, mayo.  Most commercially available mayonnaises substitute egg yolks for water to stretch it even further.  Real mayonnaise has no water.

So, why all this talk about mayonnaise when this dish calls for aïoli?  The subtle difference between aïoli and mayonnaise, aside from about $20 dollars on an entree at a fancy restaurant, is garlic.  That’s it.  A clove of garlic makes a mayonnaise an aïoli and makes your wallet a little bit lighter.

I have decided to take this traditional French sauce from Provençal and add some eastern Asian ingredients to give it some hi-yah!
 

Pan-Seared Wild Salmon with Wasabi Aïoli

• 1 pound wild salmon filets (try to find the thickest cuts you can)
• 2 tablespoons safflower oil
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 tablespoon wasabi paste
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 teaspoons ginger root
• 1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
• 1 egg yolk
• 1/2 cup safflower oil
• pickled carrot (in rice wine vinegar) and scallion for garnish

In a small food processor, like this one, add vinegar, wasabi paste, garlic, ginger, and the egg yolk.  Pulse the ingredients to roughly chop.  Add half the oil and pulse again until it begins to emulsify.  Add the rest of the oil and pulse a few more times.  The more you blend, the thicker the sauce will become.  The sauce will also thicken more if you chill it.  Fresh aïoli will last about a week in the fridge.

Now that your aïoli is ready, it’s time to sear your salmon.  Sear is the operative word here.  Because salmon can be eaten raw, you need not and should not overcook it.  Wash your salmon filets, skin on, and towel dry.  Heat oil on medium until hot.  Season salmon with salt and pepper on all sides.  Cook flesh side down until browned.  Turn to skin side and sear again.  Continue to turn until all sides are seared.  A beautiful brown crust not only tastes wonderful, it also seals in the juices and keeps the fish moist and flavorful.

Serve with wasabi aïoli and a garnish of pickled carrots and scallions.
 

NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION

SERVINGS: 2

Food energy: 720kcal
Saturated fatty acids: 6.13g
Monounsaturated fatty acids: 36.52g
Polyunsaturated fatty acids: 11.37g
Total fat: 54.01g
Calories from fat: 486
Cholesterol: 216mg
Carbohydrate, by difference: 2.68g
Total dietary fiber: 0.42g
Protein: 46.77g
Total lipid (fat): 57.57g
Water: 172.93g
Ash: 6.06g
Total sugars: 0.14g
Calcium: 48mg
Iron: 2.17mg
Magnesium: 69mg
Phosphorus: 495mg
Potassium: 1168mg
Sodium: 104mg
Zinc: 1.76mg
Copper: 0.59mg
Manganese: 0.13mg
Selenium: 87.99μg
Vitamin C: 2.74mg
Thiamin: 0.54mg
Riboflavin: 0.92mg
Niacin: 17.89mg
Pantothenic acid: 4.06mg
Vitamin B6: 1.94mg
Folate, total: 69μg
Folic acid: –
Food folate: 69μg
Folate: 69μg dietary folate equivalents
Vitamin B12: 7.38μg
Vitamin A: 214IU
Vitamin A RAE: 59μg retinol activity equivalents
Retinol: 58μg
Vitamin E (alpha-tocopherol): 14.17mg
Vitamin K (phylloquinone): 3.01μg
Alpha-carotene: 3μg
Beta-carotene: 7μg
Beta-cryptoxanthin: 2μg
Lycopene: –
Lutein+zeazanthin: 92μg
Percent refuse: –

I think it might just be your water.

  by  Marcellus Protest 

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have done it again.  Instead of embracing renewable, virtually unlimited, and environmentally friendly energy sources like wind, water, and the sun, we decide to dig down deep and release 400 million year old Earth farts trapped beneath the surface.  Just think of all the gas we will save by getting gas from our own back yards.  Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Man has been using natural gas for heating since the 1800s and lighting his farts since at least the Renaissance Era.  But, the fact of the matter is that the gas just isn’t producing fast enough for our eager nostrils to inhale it.  We have to fuel the fire a bit.  And unlike man, Budweiser and Taco Bell won’t help us out of this one.  We have to go to our third favorite activity and the thing we do best… blow stuff up.

If we blow up the layer of shale that’s preventing that delicious ground flatulence from getting to my truck, then we can bring back our troops and stop paying so much at the pump.  Plus, we’ll be rich, or something like that.

Like many of our short-sighted, single-objective missions of late, we again fail to anticipate what else is under that shale.

  by  pingting

You see, there’s not JUST a subterranean troll down there cutting up a bunch of cheese, there is also a myriad of other chemicals, minerals, and radioactive substances just waiting to infiltrate the surface.  Not only that, but the derelict inbred drillmasters are injecting even more biocides, carcinogens, and neurotoxins back into the ground during the extraction process, including lead, methane, benzene, and other yummies likely listed on cigarette warning labels.  In addition, radioactive substances like uranium and other gamma emitting isotopes are penetrated during the drilling process, releasing radon gas and radioactive mess into our water supply.

You have probably already seen the jaw-dropping video from Gasland where the bathroom faucet water is set ablaze.  This might panic the well water drinkers out there, but this is a democracy.  Most of the people here get their water imported from at least 1000 miles away in little plastic bottles.  In our eyes, the well water folk will just have to get their water just like the rest of us, from Walmart in plastic wrapped packs of 48.

But what about our food?  This is a food blog after all.  Why am I caring so much about drilling and water?  My “beef” is that my beef drinks real water, natural water, not bottled water.  I’m talking about our plants and our animals.  I’m fairly certain that Evian and Fiji aren’t going to fly over the great plains and speckle our precious corn with their drops of liquid purity.  Our cows, pigs, chickens, and turkeys will continue to drink this sludge as well, unfiltered, unabridged, and unnatural.  We will then eat these foods.

The outcome of this madness means that even sustainable farming may one day not be sustainable.  Organic would not be organic if there is no natural land left to grow chemical-free food.  GMOs might be the only food sources left to survive.  We may have to genetically alter foods so that they can be grown in chemically-altered soils.  That’s quite a price to pay to save a few dollars in gas.  Yet again our short-term objective has caused us to miss the big picture.

Please pay some close fracking attention to the next statement.

Until we find cost-effective ways to use sustainable energy resources, there will always be an energy crisis.
 

These aren’t potatoes or mushrooms, these little guys have hearts, albeit very small hearts that live in their heads right next to their equally small brains.

But in all seriousness, these things have souls!  I’m sure of it.  Very small, shrimpy souls.  I think that tearing off their heads cutting out their digestive and circulatory systems should be done by hand…with dignity and respect.
 

Or else, they might be subject to this…

or this…

Fine and dandy for mass production, but not very romantic.  This, is romantic.

Though de-turding sea creatures is one of my favorite pastimes, I do it for other reasons as well.  First, unprocessed shrimp is cheaper, usually by a buck or two per pound.  Two, I keep the shells and heads for soups and shellfish stock.  Though I would not want to eat one directly, shrimp heads are packed with flavor.  Lastly, I like to see how clean the shrimp are.  Though this may be coincidence, I think that wild shrimp have cleaner veins overall. And, speaking of veins, shrimp have two veins, one on their underside that carries blood and one on the dorsal side that carries tiny shrimp poos. I would make it a habit to remove both, especially if it is a larger shrimp.

I highly recommend buying domestic wild shrimp.  Farmed shrimp are typically jammed into pools that are saturated with antibiotics to keep bacteria from spreading.  These antibiotics are ingested by the shrimp, absorbed into the bloodstream, and come to rest in the digestive tract, or “vein.”  Though, this is another reason to devein, you should probably just avoid farmed shrimp altogether.  The same goes for international shrimp, especially shrimp from Southeastern Asia and India.  There are far too many instances of salmonella, e. coli, droppings, insects, hair, and illegal disinfectants and chemicals discovered in the small percentages of shipments that are actually inspected for me to trust any of them at all.  It has even got to the point where the U.S. has halted shipments from certain Chinese suppliers.  The scary part is that these dangerous shrimps are still making it into the country by two-way trades through Thailand and Indonesia.  You can never really trace to the source with imports.

Save your importing for wine and cheese. Buy your shrimp from the Gulf!
 

Wild Coconut Shrimp with Vegetables and Sweet Chili Jus

• 1 pound wild medium shrimp, peeled and deveined with tails on
• 1 egg
• 3/4 cup white whole wheat flour
• 2/3 cup coconut milk
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 2 cups unsweetened coconut (unsweetened is important!)

• 2 heads of broccoli, trimmed
• 1/2 pound shiitake mushrooms, stems and caps, trimmed and sliced
• 2 stalks celery, sliced on an angle
• 2 large carrots, peeled and sliced
• 3 scallions, cut diagonally in about 1 inch slices
• 2 tablespoons local honey
• 1 tablespoon fresh ginger root, minced
• 1/4 cup rice vinegar
• 2 tablespoons peanut oil
• 3 bird’s eye chilis (or thai chilis)
• 5 garlic cloves, pressed and minced
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1 heart of romaine, for plating

Preheat oven to 400°.  Mix egg, flour, coconut milk, baking powder and coconut into a batter.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and cooking spray.  Dredge shrimp into batter and sprinkle with shredded coconut.  Arrange on the baking sheet and bake for about 20 minutes or until browned.

In a large wok on high heat, add peanut oil and rice vinegar.  Add whole chills and carrots and cook until just tender.  Add garlic, ginger, honey, and soy sauce cooking only for a few seconds and then add the broccoli, celery and mushrooms.  Toss vegetables until they are covered with the sauce.  Cook vegetables until just tender and pull when the colors are bright.  Dull colors are a sign of overcooking.  Strain vegetables from and plate over fresh romaine leaves, reserving the wok jus as a dipping sauce.

Arrange the coconut shrimp over the vegetables.
 

NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION

SERVINGS: 4

Food energy: 596kcal
Saturated fatty acids: 20.85g
Monounsaturated fatty acids: 4.70g
Polyunsaturated fatty acids: 3.15g
Total fat: 28.70g
Calories from fat: 258
Cholesterol: 194mg
Carbohydrate, by difference: 56.57g
Total dietary fiber: 11.00g
Protein: 27.37g
Total lipid (fat): 31.89g
Water: 435.86g
Ash: 7.39g
Total sugars: 19.62g
Calcium: 280mg
Iron: 4.97mg
Magnesium: 113mg
Phosphorus: 624mg
Potassium: 1310mg
Sodium: 1195mg
Zinc: 3.42mg
Copper: 0.74mg
Manganese: 1.72mg
Selenium: 56.13μg
Vitamin C: 124.97mg
Thiamin: 0.24mg
Riboflavin: 0.43mg
Niacin: 6.78mg
Pantothenic acid: 2.54mg
Vitamin B6: 0.90mg
Folate, total: 159μg
Folic acid: –
Food folate: 159μg
Folate: 152μg dietary folate equivalents
Vitamin B12: 1.38μg
Vitamin A: 11554IU
Vitamin A RAE: 646μg retinol activity equivalents
Retinol: 83μg
Vitamin E (alpha-tocopherol): 4.18mg
Vitamin K (phylloquinone): 125.49μg
Alpha-carotene: 1g
Beta-carotene: 5g
Beta-cryptoxanthin: 15μg
Lycopene: –
Lutein+zeazanthin: 1g
Percent refuse: –

Filed under: Lewd Food ]]>